Monday, December 19, 2011

Baby #2 or #8

This has been on my mind for a while now.  Back when I was pregnant with Shaylin I posted a blog here about how I struggled with how to answer people that asked if she was my first.  Usually I would say that she was my first healthy pregnancy but she was my 7th pregnancy.

This time around has actually been confusing to me.  I tend to refer to Jillian as "Baby #2".  But then I feel guilty calling her that because really Baby #2 came & went in October 2007.  One time while discussing pregnancies with my sisters-in-law, I actually referred to my pregnancy with Shaylin as my "first pregnancy" & immediately I felt horrible.  I felt like I was ignoring the 6 babies before her.

At the same time I don't want to refer to Jillian as my 8th baby because it can seem confusing to people that don't know us.  Or it can just seem like a downer to remind people of our losses.  But it's hard because I can't ignore them. 

So what's the solution?  I have no idea.  I will at least continue to live my life knowing that I have 8, not just 2, babies.