Friday, May 20, 2011

A small victor but a victory none the less!

Today I read this news article that a friend posted on Facebook.  Yes, I live in Texas but seeing how I rarely get to watch the news I hadn't heard about this yet.

I am so happy to hear about this law.  And of course there's a little pride in there that it was in Texas.  But mostly I'm very happy.

I have always felt that women should be required to have a sonogram before an abortion.  They may acknowledge that a baby could come in 9 months if they allow it.  But do they realize the development that this little baby has made by the time they go in for an abortion?

I don't hide the fact that I've suffered through 6 miscarriages.  Most happened very early, before we could have a sonogram.  But baby #3 held on the longest & we saw him/her at 6 1/2 weeks along.  It did look like a little blob but we also saw the heartbeat.  Then 3 days later we lost that baby.  It's because we saw that baby on the sonogram screen that that loss hurts us the most.  It gave us a connection to that baby.

Typically by the time a woman's period is due, they are considered 4 weeks pregnant.  But I highly doubt most women are taking a pregnancy test at exactly 4 weeks.  Those that do are usually the ones trying to get pregnant & don't want to wait & see if they're "late".  So it's probably not till they are a few days late that they take a test. 

Well, by 5 weeks the baby's heart has started to develop.  By the end of that same week, its tiny heart is beating & can be seen on a sonogram.

So I am going to assume that by the time a woman finds out she's pregnant, calls an abortion clinic & gets the procedure scheduled, that baby's heart is already beating & pumping blood.  So if this woman could actually see that tiny heart, would she still try to convince herself that it's just a bunch of tissue she's getting rid of? 

In the article the opposing argument is that this law will just make it more difficult for women to make the decision to go through it.  WELL, GOOD!!!  It's your child in there so it should be all the more difficult. 

What I would hope to also come from this is a stronger focus on adoption.  I'm sure some of these women would still not feel that they can have a baby for whatever reason it may be but are overcome with the reality of what's growing inside them.  That's where they need to be directed towards their options with adoptions.  Adoption doesn't mean they have to be completely out of their child's life.  There are many families out there wanting to adopt that are open to open adoptions. 

I'm sure plenty of controversy is going to come from this law.  Hopefully other states will follow though.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Today was a good day.  Today God allowed me to cross paths with someone who helped give me some hope & encouragement.

Yesterday a friend posted a picture on Facebook of a whole bunch of little girl's clothes that she was going to sell on Craigslist.  But she thought she'd try Facebook first.  I quickly jumped on it & planned to pick them up & pay her for them today at her work.  Her workplace (on Wednesdays) is a birthing center.  This is the same birthing center who's midwife referred us to my OB/GYN.  They actually use my doctor as their backup when needed.  So I was excited to finally get to meet her.

While there I chatted with another midwife.  I told her about Shaylin & our history of miscarriages, a total of 6.  She shared with me that she has actually had 8 miscarriages.  But she also has 6 children, including a set of twins.  She was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder years ago which was the cause of her miscarriages. 

I really appreciated this sweet lady.  She even gave me her business card & told me to call her anytime if I ever have any questions or just need encouragement.  She encouraged me to not give up.  Despite all the heartache of so many losses, each of her precious babies was worth it. 

After having my 6th miscarriage, I really felt alone.  I mean, even my doctor admitted that he had never had a patient go through that many losses.  I knew plenty of people that had gone through one or two.  Even my mom had 4 miscarriage in the 8 year gap between my brother & sister.  But she found the cause of hers.  I didn't.  So at this time 2 years ago I felt alone & hopeless.  Even after having a healthy & normal pregnancy with Shaylin I know that the odds are still against me.  I will always be considered high-risk.

So to come across a woman who's actually had more miscarriages than me but has so many children, it gives me so much hope.  I needed to be reminded that God doesn't look at those odds.  He's the One in control.  We may or may not have a long road to adding to our family.  Either way God will give us the grace & strength we need to get through it.

Friday, May 6, 2011


This past Tuesday was my birthday.  I turned 31.  You don't believe me?  Yeah, I don't either but based on my birth certificate that's how old I am.  I have at least finally reached that age where I gladly accept people telling me I look younger.  When I was 20 & I kept being told I look 15, it wasn't too fun.  Now I can totally pass for a 20 year old!  And even better is I'm in better shape than I was at 20.  Sure I was way skinnier but skinny doesn't equal in shape.

Anyway, we didn't have huge plans for my birthday.  Just the usual - go out to eat with the in-laws to the place of my choice, open presents, eat whatever dessert I chose (I'm not much of a cake person).

But then Shaylin got sick.  Not longer after my last post she started getting really congested & still had the fever.  So I knew we were going to have to stay home.  Jeremy did go out & get us Chipotle for dinner.  It was what I had wanted for my birthday dinner anyway.  I opened my presents from him & Shaylin.  Other than that I just comforted my sick little girl.

Of course I'm not mad at her.  It's not like she wanted to be sick & did this to me.  It just showed us how things are different now as parents & how we have to put Shaylin's needs before our own.

Besides, that night I started getting sick.  Woke up at 4am with a fever.  I went to the doctor later & they were willing to give me a prescription even though I didn't have all the viral infection symptoms yet.  While there, we asked the doctor (who wasn't Shaylin's doctor) to check her ears.  She did & said the left one was red.  So we called her pediatrician's office & got an appointment right away.  Turns out it was a full-blown ear infection.  So now she's finally on antibiotics & is slowly getting better.

Monday, May 2, 2011


Friday night while we were getting Shaylin ready for bed we noticed her head was really warm.  We decided to take her temperature & it was 101.4.  We were really surprised because she didn't act at all sick.  Still, we gave her Motrin (the infant kind) & put her to bed.  She slept fine.

But the next morning gave us a completely different little girl.  She was crying so hard when I woke up & burning up.  This time her temp was 102.0.  I gave her Tylenol this time.  The whole day she was very fussy & clingy.  Her temp did go down around 5:00 which led us to think she was well enough to go out to eat.  We were very wrong.  She didn't want to eat or drink anything & just sat there & cried.  At 8:30 her temp was up to 102.5.  I did some reading online & looking at symptoms.  She had the fever & I also noticed she had cold hands.  The website came back with one illness:  meningitis. 

I panicked.  We didn't feel comfortable waiting till the morning to see if something was really wrong with our little girl so we rushed out the door & went to the ER at the closest hospital.  I was trying to stay strong but I was scared.  It wasn't till a little later when I told the nurse about what I read that I realized how silly it sounded, especially when she asked me if I had been on webMD (it was actually 

Anyway, they gave her Motrin but it was children's & a much larger dosage than we'd been giving her.  We were under the impression that with her weight at only 20 lbs. she wasn't ready for something stronger.  Nearly 2 hours later we finally saw a doctor.  Side note:  Can I just say how much I hope to never have to go to an ER again?!

Her temp started going down, the doctor reassured us she didn't have meningitis, & made sure she didn't have an ear infection.  We were advised to give her a couple days & see her regular doctor if the fever persists.

Well, yesterday she seemed to be getting better.  Her fever was low-grade, staying under 100, & her mood was better.  She was even drinking water & eating pretty well.  So we thought she was on the mend.

But last night was rough.  She cried off & on for over an hour.  It was as if she was crying in her sleep because she wouldn't get up.  She just laid on her stomach with her eyes shut & cried.  She was coughing as well & I could hear some congestion.  This morning her temp was back up to 101.8 so I called the doctor & made an appointment.

They checked her ears & they were still clear.  I asked about it being possible she has a UTI.  The doctor said if she didn't have the congestion & coughing then she'd think so.  So for now we're thinking it's a viral thing.  However, if her temp goes back up to 101+ tomorrow then I will likely take her back & get her tested for a UTI, which will involve using a catheter.  If it's not a UTI I preferred not putting her through that for no reason. 

At this moment she's napping but not very well.  She cries out from time to time.  I know it's because she's so congested.  And to make things worse, I can't find our nose sucker from the hospital.  And her temperature was back up.

It's so frustrating because I'm constantly second-guessing every decision I'm making.  I know it's just part of the difficulty of being a mom. 

And on that note I think I'm going to rescue my baby girl & snuggle with her on the couch.