Hope

Today was a good day.  Today God allowed me to cross paths with someone who helped give me some hope & encouragement.

Yesterday a friend posted a picture on Facebook of a whole bunch of little girl's clothes that she was going to sell on Craigslist.  But she thought she'd try Facebook first.  I quickly jumped on it & planned to pick them up & pay her for them today at her work.  Her workplace (on Wednesdays) is a birthing center.  This is the same birthing center who's midwife referred us to my OB/GYN.  They actually use my doctor as their backup when needed.  So I was excited to finally get to meet her.

While there I chatted with another midwife.  I told her about Shaylin & our history of miscarriages, a total of 6.  She shared with me that she has actually had 8 miscarriages.  But she also has 6 children, including a set of twins.  She was diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder years ago which was the cause of her miscarriages. 

I really appreciated this sweet lady.  She even gave me her business card & told me to call her anytime if I ever have any questions or just need encouragement.  She encouraged me to not give up.  Despite all the heartache of so many losses, each of her precious babies was worth it. 

After having my 6th miscarriage, I really felt alone.  I mean, even my doctor admitted that he had never had a patient go through that many losses.  I knew plenty of people that had gone through one or two.  Even my mom had 4 miscarriage in the 8 year gap between my brother & sister.  But she found the cause of hers.  I didn't.  So at this time 2 years ago I felt alone & hopeless.  Even after having a healthy & normal pregnancy with Shaylin I know that the odds are still against me.  I will always be considered high-risk.

So to come across a woman who's actually had more miscarriages than me but has so many children, it gives me so much hope.  I needed to be reminded that God doesn't look at those odds.  He's the One in control.  We may or may not have a long road to adding to our family.  Either way God will give us the grace & strength we need to get through it.