Finally Adjusting

When we brought Jillian home we knew there was going to be an adjustment period, specifically for Shaylin. She's 2 so that already makes things interesting (side note: We don't use the term "terrible two's").  But for 26 months of her life she was an only child.  Now she was going to have to share our attention, especially mine.  And we've definitely had some rough days.

Her behavior changed a lot after Jillian was born.  That was hard to watch.  Shaylin would really try to push the limits.  Or not getting my attention would turn into near meltdowns.  I say near because we've always tried to stop them before they start.

One reason why I was at peace about holding off on potty training was because I could tell that she was still adjusting.  Getting a baby sister is a major life change so there was no need to add another one.

Lately I've seen a change in her though.  There's been less defiance, less attempted meltdowns, more immediate obedience, & more independent play.  Today we had to go to Walmart & it was the least stressful shopping trip with both girls that I've had yet.  She wasn't running up the aisles.  She was staying by my side or at least by the cart.  When looking through the kids' clothing section she wasn't hiding in the racks.  She was close by & looking at clothes with me.

Shaylin's also been extra helpful around the house.  We've always tried to encourage her to help, especially when she offers.  Sometimes it slows down what I'm doing or I have to re-do it.  But we never want to discourage that helpful spirit.  Today she helped pull laundry out of the dryer without me asking.  At one point I was going back for another armful & she wanted to beat me to the dryer so she could get more first.

Naptime isn't a huge ordeal like it used to be.  There are still days where she cries when I tell her it's naptime.    But she's not getting out of bed constantly & needing discipline.  She's going right to sleep.  Today she didn't even get upset about having to take a nap.  She went right into her bed without a tear!

The independent play has also gotten better & that's been especially helpful for me.  I love playing with her but I can't play with her every moment that I'm not taking care of Jillian.  I still have a house to clean, laundry to fold, & meals to make.  So if she can quietly play with her dollhouse or her farm & animal while I take care of some things then I can get those things done quickly & then get to play with her.

I'm getting into a good routine & adjusting as well, but that's for another post.

Potty Training - Attempt #1

*If you don't like reading about potty training & all that goes on with it, then this post is not for you.

Yesterday was supposed to be the beginning of potty training.  I had gone shopping with Shaylin & let her pick out her own big girl underwear, set up her Elmo potty in the living room, & covered the love seat with trash bags & a sheet (that's her tv watching seat).  I was nervous about the extra work it was going to give me when I'm already caring for a toddler & a 9-week-old, but I was so ready to get her out of diapers.  She's still in cloth diapers & I'd really like to pass them on to her baby sister.

It started fine.  She was excited to pick out the pink pair of undies.  At first she wanted shorts too but I just said she wasn't wearing shorts today & she was fine with that.  This girl really prefers having clothes on, something her daddy couldn't be happier about.

My plan was to have her sit on the potty every 30 minutes.  She drank a lot of milk with her breakfast & then started drinking a lot of water.  I've always felt that if she could just actually pee in the potty & see the praise she would get for us she'd pick up on it real quick.  She's a smart kid!  So I was hoping that keeping her bladder full would cause her to pee in the potty at some point.

But an hour into it she had her first accident.  There were a total of 4 #1 accidents & 1 #2 accident, all before 12:30.  And that's when I decided to call it quits for the day.

I still think mentally she's ready or at least almost ready.  She's been able to tell me when she needs to go #2 for a while now & then tells me after she's done it too.  But I'm thinking physically she's not there.  She doesn't seem to get how to make her body do this stuff.  And she apparently doesn't know the sign of needing to pee & to hold it till she's on the potty.

She's also an extremely heavy wetter at night.  So bad that I finally decided to put her in disposables just for nighttime because I was tired of her cloth diapers soaking through her pajamas.  I just couldn't stuff those diapers enough to make them that absorbent.  But even yesterday morning her diaper was so heavy & that was after not having anything to drink after dinner.  So I can't imagine how nighttime would have been since I wanted to still keep her in undies at night, too.  Between that & Jillian still waking at night I wouldn't be getting any sleep!

I know I'm not a failure but I still don't like to quit something.  What doesn't help is when you read up on developmental milestones for 2 years old, potty training is on the list as one of the things most 2 year olds start to do.  So I think it makes moms feel like they have to get their kids potty trained before they turn 3 or else their kid is developmentally behind.  That's just not fair!  Some kids are ready sooner & some just aren't.  It's not fair to the kid to force them to do something they just aren't ready to do.  I don't make Jillian walk because she's not ready to walk (wouldn't that be amazing to have a walking 2 month old?!).

My plan for now is just to casually potty train.  She's already been used to sitting on her potty before she takes a bath.  So I'm going to add in some other times.  This morning I had her sit on it after she got up.  Then I'll add in other times like after naps or after meals.  But she'll still be in her cloth diapers.  If she can show any better signs of being ready, I'd like to try again in August.  We have family that will be in town through the month of July which will have us away from the house a lot.  I'd also like to give it a try while it's still hot since I want to still go the route of just undies & a shirt.  Good thing Texas summers last so long!

Until then I'm going to focus on the things she can do.  She may not know how to use the potty yet but she can speak in clear, complete sentences, does some crazy stunts on our king-size bed, & can eat better than some adults!

The Birth of Jillian Grace

To really give a complete story, I've gotta go back a few weeks.

I went into this pregnancy wanting to go natural, as in drug-free.  The birth of Shaylin was wonderful because she was born but the birth experience wasn't.  I just try to not let it overshadow her birth.  But this time I knew what I wanted & didn't want.  However, I was still afraid that I might not be able to do it.

One night (close to 35 weeks pregnant) I was looking around on my doctor's Facebook fan page.  Yes, my OB/GYN has a Facebook fan page!  If you knew him, you'd understand why.  I read it from time to time to read other women's stories of how they found him & the kind of care he gave them.  For some reason Facebook let me know that a particular doula service was also a fan of his.  And this doula had commented often on the page.  So I looked around on her page.  Then to her blog & started reading some birth stories.  I started to figure out that she had assisted my doctor with a lot of births & at my hospital.  Honestly, before then I thought doulas only helped with birthing centers or home births.  I just figured hospitals wouldn't allow that.

Reading over what a doula does made me realize that I really wanted this for my birth.  I wanted that help to keep me drug-free.  But I knew it would come with a cost.  And I was certain our health insurance would not cover the cost of a doula (and it doesn't).  But we have an HSA account.  We set it up to the maximum we could contribute so our deductible would be met & then still have plenty in the account to hopefully not pay any medical expenses out of pocket.  I looked over the list of eligible HSA expenses & midwife/doula care was on the approved list.  So the next step was to contact her.  Long story short, we met with Katie & just loved her!  And we figured out that we could pay her with the HSA account through her Paypal account.  It was a huge blessing & we knew only God could have led us to find her.  So it gave me hope that He would help me get the birth experience I wanted.

Fast forward to 38 weeks & 2 days.  My mom was coming at the end of the week.  At this point I had gone further than I did with Shaylin so of course I was anxious.  I went for a checkup & learned from my doctor that he was going to be out of town for a whole week with my due date right in the middle of it.  So we knew if we wanted him to deliver this baby (since he didn't get to deliver Shaylin) we needed it to happen in the next week.  So I said we could schedule an induction for the following week unless I went into labor on my own.  I was excited but at the same time I already knew this wasn't the right decision.  I called my doula & she explained to me the drug that was going to be used (Cytotec) & the dangers of it.  She also reminded me that if I could go into labor on my own & show up to the hospital in active labor there wasn't much the nurses would be able to do to stop whatever I wanted.  But in the end it was still my decision.  But I knew she was right & this was exactly why we hired her.  I needed to get my focus back on my desired birth experience & not just on whether my doctor could be there.

So a week later we go for another checkup.  I agreed to have a cervical check to help confirm my decision. I had still considered doing the induction if I was already dilated & thinned out quite a bit.  But I was only 2 cm & 25% effaced.  Still better than I was when my water broke with Shaylin (1 cm & 0% effaced) but not far enough to go with an induction & get the birth I wanted.  So I let him know that I wasn't doing the induction.  And he was fully supportive of my decision.  He couldn't say it but I think he preferred me waiting.  He's been called the "male midwife" so he's all for being as natural if possible.  He just said he has to give his patients the option since he was going to be gone.  I made an appointment for the next week but left the office crying because I knew deep down that I wasn't going to make it to that appointment & he wouldn't get delivering this baby either.  I called Katie & she suggested making plans everyday to keep me busy.  That night Jeremy & I went on a date while my mom watched Shaylin.  Another day my mom & I took Shaylin to the zoo.  There were some shopping trips that week too.

On Thursday, March 29 I woke up to find I had some bloody show.  It had me really excited but it didn't necessarily mean I was about to go into labor.  Later I met Katie at a McDonalds so our kids could play & we could visit.  Then I had a chiropractor appointment.  I started seeing this chiropractor at 37 weeks.  I regret not going sooner.  Just one adjustment had me feeling better in those last 3 weeks than I did the entire pregnancy!  It was also helping to keep Jillian in an anterior position.  During the adjustment we talked about how I had been feeling & the bloody show.  I told her how I was hoping my doctor would still get to deliver this baby even though that would mean being pregnant for a few more days.  She then said I wouldn't like what she would have to say.  I said it was ok to tell me & she said that I would be having this baby the next day!  I was surprised to hear it but didn't let it get me too excited.

That night we went to bed around 11:00.  That's when I noticed a couple contractions.  They didn't hurt.  It was just a tightening in my belly.  And they were about 10 minutes apart.  But since I had already had them before & they didn't produce anything I didn't get too excited.  So we went to sleep.  And as usual my pregnancy-induced insomnia kept me awake while Jeremy went right to sleep.  So since I was awake I couldn't help me notice those contractions still coming & was watching the clock.  Sometimes they'd be 7 minutes apart & then they'd be 20 minutes apart.

At 2:30am I noticed the contractions were starting to get closer, averaging 10 minutes now.  So I decided to just text Katie & let her know what was going on.  I sent another at 3:15 letting her know of more bloody show.  She encouraged me to try to sleep.  I remember her telling me this back in one of our appointments that she tries to get her patients to get as much sleep as possible in preparation of labor.  She suggested I take Benadryl but we didn't have any so I went with Tylenol PM but only one.  I think I was hoping it would take a little bit of the edge off the contractions so I could sleep.  But then they started to pick up to the point that I couldn't lay still in bed.  So I got up & tried laying on the couch, hoping a different location would help me sleep.  That's when I realized I couldn't lay down at all during the contractions, which were now down to 3 minutes apart.  So at 4:50 I texted Katie again & let her know & see what she thought we should do.  It would be at least a 45 minute drive to the hospital & that was if traffic wasn't bad. We discussed me sitting in a warm bath to help with the contractions but I got really nervous about laboring at home too long & then getting in a long car ride when things could get really intense.  The thought of sitting in bumper to bumper traffic while working through a contraction was not appealing.  So I finally woke up Jeremy, who'd sort of gotten about 4 hours of sleep (my constant tossing & turning & getting out of bed didn't make it a very restful sleep for him), packed our things, & woke my mom to let her know we were leaving.  I sneaked into Shaylin's room to see her real quick before leaving.  I was so excited for our family but it was still hard knowing that her life was about to change in a huge way & I knew it wasn't going to be easy at times.

Traffic ended up being great.  But when you hit the freeway before 6am there aren't too many people on the roads yet.  On the way Jeremy called his dad to wish him happy birthday & with that early of a call his dad knew what was going on.  The whole pregnancy he had predicted that this baby would be born on his birthday, since the due date was the day after.  But I kept saying it wouldn't happen because I didn't want to be pregnant that long.  I was so sure I'd go earlier simply because Shaylin came early.

I clipped my ipod shuffle to my tanktop & put my headphones in my ears & got in the zone.  My labor music selection wasn't exactly your typical laboring music.  No Enya or other peaceful music.  Nope.  I had running music.  I selected songs that were extra motivating during runs, especially my marathon.  This was going to be my marathon.  All the walking I had been doing through my 3rd trimester were done while listening to this music was "training" me for this moment.  I might just be the first momma to listen to Eminem's "Lose Yourself" while in labor.

We arrived at the hospital at about 6:30, with Katie arriving a few minutes later.  We had to fill out some papers to sign in & I signed when I could but during contractions I worked through them however I needed.  Sometimes I would lean over & just rock my hips left & right.  Sometimes I would squat down.  The contractions were uncomfortable now but I was handling them.  This was definitely like the first couple miles of a marathon.  I felt great & like I could totally do this!

We got to my L&D room & the nurse gave me my gown to change into, the girdle to go around my waist for the monitor, & some non-slip socks to wear.  I told her I was going to actually keep wearing my "marathon shoes" & the look on her face was something else.  It was as if I offended her by not taking her socks.  I guess not too many women labor in shoes.

Another nurse comes in since it was time for the shift change.  Right off the bat I could tell we were going to have to watch this one.  I was on the birthing ball, finding it a great position at that moment.  I wanted to stay on it as long as possible. She started through a whole bunch of questions. Somewhere in the questions was asked how many pregnancies I had had.  This was #8.  That number still overwhelms me but it's something I have accepted.  For some reason she needed to know the dates of all the pregnancies & asked if I knew them.  I'm a mother.  I can't help but remember when they were.  I don't remember the exact dates for all of them but I at least know the months & years of each.  So I started spouting them out:

May 2007
October 2007
April 2008
June 2008
October 2008
January 2009
January 2010 (Shaylin's birth)

By the time I got to the 5th one I just lost it.  I can usually talk about my miscarriage history without crying, but to sit there & have to tell how many times I have been pregnant so close together & without all those babies born was more than I could take.  And it didn't help that the nurse showed no reaction to my emotions.  Jeremy & Katie were not pleased with this.

After the questioning was done, it was time for a cervical check.  I was 3 cm & 50% effaced.  They checked with the doctor who was on call for my doctor but I already knew that I wanted to leave if I was less than 4 cm.  So we called a friend from church who lives in a house just a couple miles from the hospital & had offered her house as a place to labor should we need it.  The timing really couldn't have worked better.  She & her roommate were at work so it was going to be just me, Jeremy, & my doula.  We arrived at 8:45.

This house was great!  It's huge!  It was once used as a ministry by a couple who took in young pregnant girls who were searching for an option other than abortion.  If they chose to give their baby up for adoption they were given help to find an adopting family.  If they chose to keep their baby they were prepared with childcare classes & other help like life skills or getting their GED if needed.  And my doctor was the doctor who helped deliver those babies!

We started by hanging out in the kitchen, with me doing a lot of squatting at the counter.  I tried to eat some pudding & got down about half the cup.  I also had to keep drinking water.  Then we moved to the den where I stayed on my knees & would lay my top half on the couch during contractions.  It was starting to get difficult to join in conversation with Jeremy & Katie.  At one point I started feeling sick after each contraction.  Then it just hit me.  I finished a contraction & had to rush to the nearest bathroom.  And up came all the pudding I had eaten earlier.  Katie said this was a good sign.

Around 10:30 I decided I wanted to try the shower.  So I got in my too-small-for-my-belly tankini & stood in the shower, keeping the hot water hitting my lower back.  I stayed in there for an hour & a half!  And all while still jamming out to my music.  That was probably one of the best times of my labor experience.  It was hard but I was totally doing this.  It reminded me of miles 9 through 12 of my marathon.  It was like some sort of runner's high I had reached & I felt like nothing could stop me.

At 12:00 I got out & got dressed.  And my marathon shoes went back on of course!  We stayed in a bedroom where I got back on my knees & leaned on the bed during contractions.  Things really started picking up at this point, to the point where I started moaning through contractions.  Jeremy had left for Taco Bueno earlier to get lunch for himself & Katie.  Based on how I was acting Katie felt that it was now best to head back to the hospital since they would be wanting to get 2 rounds of antibiotics in me before the birth (I was GBS positive).  So as soon as Jeremy got back we started packing up the car.  That was 12:45.

As we were leaving my backup birth photographer had arrived.  I had one lined up originally, a close friend who shot Shaylin's birth.  But she had another client due the exact same day as me & had booked her first so we knew there was a chance that she'd miss mine for the other client, which was completely understandable.  Then she got really sick & was just too sick to make my birth.  So Katie contacted one of her friends in the area who was able to come pretty quickly for a mom of 3.  She had also been a doula for a few years so technically we had 2 doulas for this birth!

The drive back to the hospital was intense.  The house was up on a hill off a dirt road so Jeremy had to drive  slowly to avoid bumping me around too much.  I was in the front seat on my knees facing the opposite way, hugging the seat.  Once he got to the access road Jeremy took off.  I remember glancing over to see that we were passing cars that were on I-35!  He pulled right up to the entrance of the Center for Women & we got out, leaving the car there.  It kinda felt like a movie!

When we walked in we assumed we would get to go right back to the L&D room that I was in just a few hours earlier.  But because they had discharged me the lady at the front desk said we had to sign in again.  That meant signatures from me, filling out my personal information, & verifying insurance.  Needless to say Jeremy let them know that he was ticked.  Katie & Mary, my photographer, came in & started leading me to L&D anyway.  I was upset because for all I knew I was coming close to fully dilated & was scared my husband wouldn't get to be by my side because he had to sign me in.  I mean, seriously?!  Why couldn't they just have held on to the papers from earlier?  This is why I would consider something other than a hospital birth next time.

The walk to L&D was very slow with a lot of stops so Jeremy was able to catch up.  I did end up in the original room.  Changing back into that girdle & hospital gown wasn't easy.  But I still had my marathon shoes on!  They did a cervical check & said I was 5 cm, 80% effaced, & -2 station.  I didn't handle that news very well.  I felt like I should have been at least 7 cm but to hear I was now only halfway there was extremely discouraging.  And if it hurt this much now, how much more was it going to hurt for another 5 cm?!

They reminded me that they needed to give me a round of antibiotics but I didn't want to stay in bed.  Really, I wanted to walk but for 30 minutes I had to stay put.  So they let me sit on the birthing ball again & they raised the bed up so I could lean on it.

The nurse that was doing the IV didn't do so well.  I've never had good veins to begin with but this was on my hand so it's not as difficult to find.  She would miss & dig around for the vein & I was yelling out in pain.  Everyone thought it was another contraction but I said it was the needle.  This was really throwing me off.  I was also getting exhausted.  Every now & then I'd nod off.  Remember, I went into this with no sleep.

Finally at 3:15 they were done.  At this point I knew I couldn't walk around.  I asked about getting to labor in the tub & the nurse said she'd see if it could get ready.  Until then I wanted to sit in the shower.  But I really didn't want to try to get back into my tankini.  So the nurse suggested I use 2 of those girdles, one as a top & one as a bottom.  Now the shoes had to come back off.

Jeremy sat in the shower with me, holding the sprayer at the lower part of my belly.  The nurse came in at one point saying she needed to monitor the baby.  I had asked for monitoring to be intermittent & they had been honoring that.  So much so that when she came in she didn't make me get out of the shower but covered the monitor with a glove & put it on my belly.  It wasn't easy for her to get a reading with the water hitting it but she eventually got what she needed.  It was one of the times she was able to redeem herself.

At 3:45 I wanted to get out of the shower.  I was feeling a lot of pressure on my tailbone.  So I moved to the toilet.  The nurse was not happy when she walked by at one point & saw me there.  She made some comment about not delivering a baby on a toilet.  That was not a redeeming moment.  I knew the baby wasn't just going to fall out in the toilet.  But it was a great position for that part of labor.

Around 4:00 I asked to be checked.  I just knew we were really getting somewhere & I kept feeling like I was needing to push.  I got to the bed, still in just those 2 girdles, & was checked, now at 8 cm, fully effaced, & 0 station.  So close but still not there.  They asked me what I wanted to do, maybe go back to the shower or toilet, but I didn't feel like I could make it.  So I stayed in the bed on my left side.

This is when transition hit.  It was by far the hardest part, well, other than what came right after.  I had gone all day feeling in control & that I could do this & never once asked for drugs of any kind.  But somewhere during the next 15 minutes I cried out "I can't do it".  Jeremy said it started to scare him to see me like that & not know what to do.  And there really wasn't much anyone could do.  Had I wanted an epidural I highly doubt they could have done it even if an anesthesiologist was already in the room.

They had already called for the doctor but she still hadn't shown.  15 minutes after the last check they checked me again because my photographer/2nd doula could tell I was complete.  Something about how she could squeeze a part of my leg & the temperature of it.  So they checked me & sure enough I was finally 10 cm & +2 station.  15 minutes & I got the last 2 cm while on my side!  Crazy!

Funny moment here - I was clinging to the side rail of the bed where there are a lot of buttons, including the controls for the tv.  So when the tv came on everyone was confused.  They'd turn it off but then it'd come back on.  I remember getting mad at myself because I realized that I was doing that & thought that was a really dumb place for tv controls.  My photographer/2nd doula took on the additional job of tv control.

Now I had reached the hardest part - the part where I needed to push NOW but there was no doctor so I had to wait.  This is no easy task.  I remember seeing the nurses in the room & could tell they were stalling.  At some point I kinda started to push but it wasn't producing any progress.  But I think had I been in just the right position I could have done it & someone would have needed to be there to catch a baby.

Finally the doctor shows up.  I barely got a good look at her but I remember thinking that she looked like a friend of mine from church.  I then remember her saying something about getting olive oil out & making a salad.  This is good because that means she paid attention to my birth plan, something I wasn't sure would happen with an on-call doctor.

We're not exactly sure how many pushes it took.  It wasn't a structured hold-your-breath-count-to-10 type of pushing.  I tried to just take over & push when a contraction came.  Katie thinks it was no more than 4 pushes so we'll go with that.  However many pushes it was, this was the easy part.  I remember when I felt the "ring of fire" & realizing that it wasn't as bad as I had always heard.

Once I felt that she was out I wanted her right away.  I guess time seemed to go slow at that moment because I felt like they were cleaning & suctioning her for too long & at one point I yelled out "I want me baby!  Give me my baby!".  Jeremy says that when I yelled that that Jillian wasn't actually fully out & they were just trying to suction her some before getting her out completely.

The moment they put her on my chest was amazing.  I had crossed the finish line to my marathon.  And I was so in love.  Jillian Grace was born at 4:29pm & weighed 7 pounds & 13 ounces & was 20 inches long.  And she had a head full of blonde hair.

The doctor honored my request to not clamp the cord for 60 seconds, which was about how long it took to stop pulsating anyway.  They delayed newborn procedures & gave me 2 hours of skin to skin before we were moved to my post-partum room.  The hospital has really come a long way in the 2 years since Shaylin's birth & is trying to be more baby-friendly.

My recovery was so different this time.  Before even leaving the L&D room Jeremy commented on how different I seemed this time.  I felt great, other than a sore tailbone.  I know just the fact that I didn't tear has a lot with how much better I felt.  There were no drugs in my system that I was waiting to come out.  I had a very alert baby who nursed like a pro almost immediately.

I don't like to use the word "amazing" because it tends to be overused but I don't know how else to describe the whole experience with any other word.  Maybe empowering?  Not in a feminist kind of way.  But just feeling like I could do anything.  I went into this thinking of it as a marathon & I've come out of it with an even greater feeling than my 26.2 mile race gave me.  It was by far the most physically, emotionally, & mentally challenging experience of my life but also the greatest.  When I ran a marathon it showed me that God made me capable to complete such a challenge.  But to give birth naturally it showed that He created my body to be able to do something so much more incredible.  And I'm so thankful that He has again blessed us with another miracle & made us a family of four.

"A woman at birth is at once her most powerful, and her most vulnerable.  But any woman who has birth unhindered understands that we are stronger than we know."  ~  Marci Macari

*Birth photography provided by Embrace Birth Doula Service & Photography

Mom of 2

I've really wanted to start blogging again but finding enough free time to do it & when my head is clear enough to even think has been difficult. Take today for example. I woke up before both girls with just enough time to workout. After breakfast we did a quick trip to Target & then I decided to see my chiropractor after having pain in my neck since Tuesday night. Picked up a late lunch on the way home & started the nap process. And so far I've gone back & forth with both girls. Either Shaylin won't stay in bed & requires discipline or Jillian won't stay asleep & needs to be rocked back to sleep, which I'm doing now. I've found a Blogger app so I'm attempting my first post on my phone.

Speaking of Jillian, I have tried to write out her birth story but again, no time. That's not one I want to do on my phone.

Adding another child has had its good days & bad days. Shaylin had a hard time adjusting in the beginning but has gotten better. She's also 2 so that keeps things interesting. Jillian started out really easy but has been a bit difficult at times, especially with getting her to sleep for naps or bedtime. Last night took 2 hours to finally get her to sleep! I know she's only 7 weeks (tomorrow) but I'm starting to wonder if I need to start doing something about it.

But with all the hard times, the good times outnumber them. Seeing Shaylin kissing Jillian & Jillian smiling at her make it all worth it.

2 Years Old

My whole life I've heard "grown ups" say how fast the years go by & how quickly kids grow up.  They couldn't be more right! 

Shaylin turned 2 last Monday & every new sentence she says or new skill she learns just amazes me because I'm so certain she's still just a little baby.  But she's not.  She's a big girl now.

Her speaking ability is great.  We've made an effort to not talk "baby talk" to her & can see the pay off.  When she's learned to say a word but it's not said correctly we don't just start saying it her way, despite how cute it can be sometimes.  We just continue to say it the correct way & she eventually gets it.  She can easily put together 4-word sentences.  There may be 5-word sentences but my pregnant brain can't think of any at the moment.  Here are some of my favorite things she says:

"What happened?"
"Did you hear that?"
"What's that noise?"
"Good morning."
"Momma, play?"

She's got the questions down as you can see.  She's also very polite.  She will say "thanks" or "thank you" for just about anything you give her or do for her without us having to tell her to say it.  She says "sorry" for the slightest bump into you.  And if you sneeze she'll say "bless you".

She can jump off the ground & loves to climb on everything.  Unfortunately this means that she figured out how to climb out of her crib.  It hasn't happened a whole lot & she's never gotten hurt so however she's doing it she's doing it safely.  This week she's going to be moving into a new bedroom & a twin bed so the issue of staying in bed is just going to get worse.  But it's time, especially with her sister due in just 2 months!

Shaylin continues to be a great eater.  The things that she's picky about or doesn't like are so few that they're not worth a fight.  Her newest favorite food is pickles.  Yet she doesn't like rice.  Crazy kid!  Breakfast is always easy.  She loves pancakes, eggs, toast, & french toast.  Most of her lunches are pb&j's, grilled cheese, or quesadillas.  She always has a fruit with lunch which is either a banana or peaches.  She's starting to like grapes but I'm hesitant to buy them until I know she'll really eat them.  For dinner I try to always feed her whatever I've made for me & Jeremy.  The exceptions have been soup nights, just because she's not quite skilled enough with the spoon for me to want to deal with that mess.  But if it's some sort of pasta dish she will gobble that right up.  She's pretty good with most veggies.  She prefers her potatoes mashed than any other form.  She loves corn & carrots (as long as they're not crunchy) & green beans (except in green bean casserole) & will usually eat broccoli. 

She seems to understand that there is a baby in my belly & we're not just calling my growing belly by Jillian.  She asks to tell her good morning or good night just about everyday.  Sometimes she wants to "see" Jillian which means lifting my shirt so she can talk to her.  And she'll lay her head on my belly to hug her & give kisses.  It makes me so excited to see how affectionate she already she to her baby sister.  I know I'm just going to be an emotional mess when the 2 girls get to meet for the first time.

Yucky Virus

We had a rough week last week.  It started Wednesday morning at 6am when Shaylin woke us up crying.  As soon as I walked in the room I could tell that she had thrown up.  She did it again 5 more times that day, including once in the car right as I pulled into the doctor's office.  Yeah, that was not fun!

She didn't have any other symptoms that day other than being fussy & clingy.  She was very tired from waking up early & not sleeping well when she would nap.  The doctor said it was a nasty virus that's been going around, mostly affecting kids.  My guess is she picked it up when we went shopping at Walmart the day before.

The night she started getting a fever.  It was 100.2 so we gave her motrin.  At 4am she woke us up & her temp was 102.  I gave her more motrin & laid on the couch with her since she obviously wanted her momma.  There was very little sleep involved for me.  I just can't sleep with her, as much as I love that closeness.  Plus she was very restless as you can imagine.

Most of Thursday we were battling with the fever, but no more vomiting.  Twice that day including after dinner her temp reached the highest ever at 103.4.  That got a little scary for me.  She still had a rough night of sleep that night but she at least managed to stay in her crib all night.

Thursday night I had noticed what I thought was a diaper rash.  We even thought it was a heat rash due to her fever.  But the next day it started spreading.  It got all over her legs & started up her arms & stomach.  So I made another trip to the doctor.  They confirmed that this was another reaction to the virus.  It wouldn't bother her or make her itchy & the rash itself wasn't contagious.  Once she had gone 24 hours without a fever she was clear of being contagious.  Since she had a low grade one at the doctor's office on Friday we had to keep her home a little longer.

On Saturday the rash peaked.  Thankfully it didn't reach her face!  But by then you could actually feel the bumps & she looked pretty bad.  We needed to go to the store that evening so we decided to take her & wondered if people would say anything.  Nobody did so either they didn't notice or they did but were being polite.

She's still got the rash today but it's lightened up.  It's gonna take a few days for her skin to get back to its normal pasty self.  But she is at least feeling like her sweet & happy self again so that makes me happy.

31

This past Tuesday was my birthday.  I turned 31.  You don't believe me?  Yeah, I don't either but based on my birth certificate that's how old I am.  I have at least finally reached that age where I gladly accept people telling me I look younger.  When I was 20 & I kept being told I look 15, it wasn't too fun.  Now I can totally pass for a 20 year old!  And even better is I'm in better shape than I was at 20.  Sure I was way skinnier but skinny doesn't equal in shape.

Anyway, we didn't have huge plans for my birthday.  Just the usual - go out to eat with the in-laws to the place of my choice, open presents, eat whatever dessert I chose (I'm not much of a cake person).

But then Shaylin got sick.  Not longer after my last post she started getting really congested & still had the fever.  So I knew we were going to have to stay home.  Jeremy did go out & get us Chipotle for dinner.  It was what I had wanted for my birthday dinner anyway.  I opened my presents from him & Shaylin.  Other than that I just comforted my sick little girl.

Of course I'm not mad at her.  It's not like she wanted to be sick & did this to me.  It just showed us how things are different now as parents & how we have to put Shaylin's needs before our own.

Besides, that night I started getting sick.  Woke up at 4am with a fever.  I went to the doctor later & they were willing to give me a prescription even though I didn't have all the viral infection symptoms yet.  While there, we asked the doctor (who wasn't Shaylin's doctor) to check her ears.  She did & said the left one was red.  So we called her pediatrician's office & got an appointment right away.  Turns out it was a full-blown ear infection.  So now she's finally on antibiotics & is slowly getting better.

Fever

Friday night while we were getting Shaylin ready for bed we noticed her head was really warm.  We decided to take her temperature & it was 101.4.  We were really surprised because she didn't act at all sick.  Still, we gave her Motrin (the infant kind) & put her to bed.  She slept fine.

But the next morning gave us a completely different little girl.  She was crying so hard when I woke up & burning up.  This time her temp was 102.0.  I gave her Tylenol this time.  The whole day she was very fussy & clingy.  Her temp did go down around 5:00 which led us to think she was well enough to go out to eat.  We were very wrong.  She didn't want to eat or drink anything & just sat there & cried.  At 8:30 her temp was up to 102.5.  I did some reading online & looking at symptoms.  She had the fever & I also noticed she had cold hands.  The website came back with one illness:  meningitis. 

I panicked.  We didn't feel comfortable waiting till the morning to see if something was really wrong with our little girl so we rushed out the door & went to the ER at the closest hospital.  I was trying to stay strong but I was scared.  It wasn't till a little later when I told the nurse about what I read that I realized how silly it sounded, especially when she asked me if I had been on webMD (it was actually babycenter.com). 

Anyway, they gave her Motrin but it was children's & a much larger dosage than we'd been giving her.  We were under the impression that with her weight at only 20 lbs. she wasn't ready for something stronger.  Nearly 2 hours later we finally saw a doctor.  Side note:  Can I just say how much I hope to never have to go to an ER again?!

Her temp started going down, the doctor reassured us she didn't have meningitis, & made sure she didn't have an ear infection.  We were advised to give her a couple days & see her regular doctor if the fever persists.

Well, yesterday she seemed to be getting better.  Her fever was low-grade, staying under 100, & her mood was better.  She was even drinking water & eating pretty well.  So we thought she was on the mend.

But last night was rough.  She cried off & on for over an hour.  It was as if she was crying in her sleep because she wouldn't get up.  She just laid on her stomach with her eyes shut & cried.  She was coughing as well & I could hear some congestion.  This morning her temp was back up to 101.8 so I called the doctor & made an appointment.

They checked her ears & they were still clear.  I asked about it being possible she has a UTI.  The doctor said if she didn't have the congestion & coughing then she'd think so.  So for now we're thinking it's a viral thing.  However, if her temp goes back up to 101+ tomorrow then I will likely take her back & get her tested for a UTI, which will involve using a catheter.  If it's not a UTI I preferred not putting her through that for no reason. 

At this moment she's napping but not very well.  She cries out from time to time.  I know it's because she's so congested.  And to make things worse, I can't find our nose sucker from the hospital.  And her temperature was back up.

It's so frustrating because I'm constantly second-guessing every decision I'm making.  I know it's just part of the difficulty of being a mom. 

And on that note I think I'm going to rescue my baby girl & snuggle with her on the couch.

15 Months Old

Once again, I'm late posting an update on Shaylin.  I think I'll save the next one when she turns 18 months.

- Shaylin's vocabulary continues to improve.  Other than the words she was saying last month, she also says ball, duck, hi, hey, bye or bye-bye, Minnie, Elmo, baby, & book.  Best of all, she's saying momma finally!  And she says it a lot!  It might get annoying in the future but right now I can't imagine it would considering how long I've been waiting to hear it.  And this would be longer than just 15 months.

- She walks like a pro.  She tries to run but it's a short distance & then she falls.  She also does this cute little stomping action.

- Her dancing skills are improving.  She still does her booty bounce but also sways side to side or twists.

- She knows the sounds that a dog, cat, & duck make.

- She recently rediscovered her bouncy seat & loves to just lay in it or she'll get on her knees & bounce in it.

- Sleep is wonderful now.  I think we finally made it!  She takes one nap a day, going down by 1:30 or 2:00 & sleeps at least 2 1/2 hours but sometimes as much as 3 hours.  Bedtime is at 8:00 & she sleeps till at least 8am.

- At her 15 month checkup on Monday Shaylin weighed exactly 20 lbs. & was 30" tall.  Her height is still in the 50th percentile & her weight has bumped her back up to the 10th percentile.

- We recently switched her to a convertible carseat & installed it front-facing, mostly because we had difficulty making it feel secure while rear-facing.  However, I am considering trying the rear-facing again if we can get it to work.  This will be for a future post.

Early Potty Training?

The other night while giving Shaylin a bath she was standing (she stands more than sits in the tub) & she started grunting.  I know that grunt.  I know what comes with it.

In Shaylin's 14 months of life so far she's only pooped in the tub twice.  The second time was definitely the funny one because she was sharing a bath with her friend Piper.  It made a quick end of their bath time fun.

Back to Thursday night . . . I had to act fast.  Jeremy was at work so I was on my own.  So I picked Shaylin out of the tub & sat her on the toilet.  She wasn't real sure what I was doing.  I just told her to go ahead & do it.  And sure enough she did!  My 14 month old pooped in the toilet!

Yes, I know it's normally a gross topic but this is always an exciting time for every parent, right?

I was just so excited that my idea worked.  Does this mean I'll explore early potty training now?  I don't know about that.  But it does get me hopeful that when we do start potty training that Shaylin will catch on quickly.

14 Months Old

The day isn't over yet so I'm not late on this.

- Shaylin is walking!  I've failed to blog about this major milestone.  Mom fail.  But yes, she is walking.  She was taking only 1 or 2 steps at a time only a month ago.  Now she is mostly walking everywhere she goes.  If she loses her balance & falls down she'll usually crawl to continue on her way. 

- Shaylin has had moments of being a picky eater but for the most part she still eats really well.  Pancakes are still her favorite meal.  Actually, she loves breakfast in general, whether it's pancakes, biscuits, french toast sticks, or scrambled eggs.

- Her vocabulary is getting better, although a lot of her words sound similar.  Her most said word is "Da" (short for daddy).  She can say momma but chooses not to.  She can also say dog (& will woof like a dog, too), milk, ball, hi, uh oh, & thank you (which she says when giving you something).

- She loves watching Sesame Street now.  She doesn't usually watch the entire hour though.  She loves Elmo & Big Bird.

- No matter what tv show we may watch, when the end credits roll, she'll stop what she's doing & clap.  Sometimes she'll do her little booty dance, too.

- When a song plays that she likes, she'll rock her head from side to side.  The Sesame Street intro is one time she'll do it.

- Sleep has finally been going really well.  She's down to 1 nap a day, usually lasting around 2 hours.  She's in bed by 8:30, awake, & eventually puts herself to sleep.  Sometimes with a little bit of a fight but nothing too traumatic.  And she's sleeping at least 11 hours straight through the night!  This has been going on for about 3 weeks now so I really hope it's here to stay & she's not about to make another change.

- Yesterday Shaylin sat down to her little dollhouse & played with it for a good 15 minutes all by herself.  She kept talking the whole time & putting all the furniture on the 2nd floor of the house.  It was so precious!

Pigtails

Seriously, how has she gotten so big?!

She doesn't look like a baby.

She looks like a little girl.

One nap a day

I've kinda been dreading the day when Shaylin would be ready for one nap a day.  It's been nice having her take 2 naps a day.  It gave me 2 periods of time each day to myself, whether it be working out, cleaning, or taking a nap myself.  Back in December I was wondering if she was ready for the switch because she wasn't sleeping long during her naps.  But I was stubborn & stuck to our routine & eventually she went back to normal.  So it confirmed to me that she wasn't ready.

The start of Shaylin's day varies.  It's gone as early at 6:45 to as late as 8:30, but that late was rare.  7:30 is most normal.  So by 10 she'd be ready for a morning nap.  And then her afternoon nap was at 3.  Both naps would be at least an hour but rarely up to 2 hours. 

Sundays have been the one day of the week when she would get only one nap a day.  It's been like that for quite a while now.  With church at 10:30 (and Sunday School at 9:15 if we make it) there's just no way she can have a morning nap.  Sometimes one of the ladies in the nursery can rock her to sleep for about 10 minutes but usually she's too busy playing to want to sleep.

This week I decided to take the plunge & try switching her to one nap a day.  Monday was great.  Shaylin slept for over 3 hours!  The rest of the week has varied.  She's been teething really bad so she'd wake up & then go back to sleep.  But most naps were 2 - 2 1/2 hours in total.

A big reason why I wasn't ready for the switch was how it would change my running routine.  I like running in the mornings.  I have more energy in the mornings.  And then I can rest in the afternoons.  But now I have to wait till around 2:00 before I can run.  However, the nice thing about this is since she is taking longer naps now, this gives me more time to run longer.  If she sleeps at least 2 hours, I can easily run 5 miles, cool off, shower, & rest for a bit before she's ready to get up.

This is just another step towards my baby girl growing up.

Another Sleep Change . . . But a Good One

Shaylin is a very inconsistent sleeper.  She tends to get into a new routine every 2 weeks.  I never really know what to expect.  I got a good eater, not a good sleeper, I guess.

Her latest change is something I'm really liking & hope it's here to stay. 

Pretty much since birth her bedtime routine ends with me holding her on the couch till she falls asleep.  Over 13 months later I regret that I didn't do something different.  It has made some nights very difficult. 

Last week there was a night where Shaylin just would not fall asleep.  She kept looking around, playing with my hair, whatever she could do to stay awake.  So I decided that from then on I would not hold her for longer than 30 minutes.  Then I'd lay her down & let her cry it out if need be.

The first time was hard.  There was about 20 minutes of crying/screaming (Shaylin's really more of a screamer).  But then this week something changed.  She's still looking around, being goofy.  But then I carry her to her room, give her a kiss & tell her I love her, lay her down, & leave. 

And you know what?  I've done this now for 4 nights in a row (counting tonight) & she hasn't cried at all.  Sometimes I hear her talk for a bit but that's it.  She seems to actually just roll over & go to sleep on her own!  I'm so proud of her!

Now the real test will be if this continues for more than 2 weeks.

Toddler Lunch Ideas Needed

I've said before that Shaylin is a really good eater.  With the exception of oatmeal & tilapia (not combined), she's eaten everything we offer her.  It's made meal planning & grocery shopping easier because I just feed her whatever we eat & I haven't needed to buy much baby food.

But I'm losing creativity with lunchtime.  I usually offer her a fruit with lunch like a banana or a mixed fruit cup.  But the other part of the meal is where I feel like we're getting in a rut.  She likes deli meat & turkey is usually what we have.  So typical lunches are a couple slices of turkey, a slice of cheese (cheddar or provolone is what we typically buy), & then the fruit.  Sometimes I'll make her a grilled cheese sandwich.  Or a cheese quesadilla.  Oh, & we've done fish sticks, mac 'n cheese, & green beans.  That's really about it. 

So I'm asking for other ideas.  I want to keep a variety for her so she doesn't get tired of a particular food.  Some days she seems like she's heading that way.

Since I post this on Facebook I'll gladly take suggestions either there or on my blog.

Thanks!

Baby's Best Friend

Shaylin in One Year

Birth

1 month old

2 months old

3 months old

4 months old

5 months old

6 months old

7 months old

8 months old

9 months old

10 months old

11 months old

1 year old

My Good Eater

A lot of parents have to deal with picky eaters.  So far, we're not those parents.

Shaylin has been a good eater since we first introduced solids at 6 months old.  We started with rice cereal which quickly needed to be thickened.  She didn't care for it to be thin & soupy.  Her first "real food" was bananas which I smashed up.  But then it caused a lot of constipation so I tried less constipating foods - pears, peaches, carrots, peas, green beans.  Basically every baby food I gave her, she gladly ate it.

Here are some other foods (not pureed) she's tried & liked:

carrots

potatoes

macaroni

mashed potatoes

green beans

stuffing (or dressing, whatever you call it)

sweet potatoes

beans (pinto, lima, black eye peas)

Cheerios

biscuits (especially Red Lobster's cheddar bay biscuits)

pancakes

chicken

turkey

ham

ground beef

shrimp

crab

lobster

grilled cheese

cream of wheat

spaghetti

I'm probably forgetting something.  The point is, this girl loves her food! 

But there is one thing she hasn't liked - oatmeal.  She's eaten the Gerber kind & I thought if I'm going to eat oatmeal myself that I could just make a bigger batch for both of us.  But every time I've given it to her she has a look of disgust on her face & turns away. 

But I guess if she'll eat everything else I give her this isn't a battle worth fighting.

Weaning

We started the weaning process this week.  I thought I'd have to wait till Shaylin was actually 12 months old but have been advised that that's not necessary.  She'll be 1 in less than 2 weeks so it's close enough.  Besides, it's still going to take a few weeks so she'll still be getting some breast milk past her birthday.

There are a lot of emotions that go into this.  I mean, it's the end of an era.

For one thing, I'm excited because this means I meant my goal of breastfeeding through the first year.  The first few days were rough & there were some other rough times, like mastitis.  And then in the summer when my supply was suffering I really doubted if we'd make it to a year.  But I'm so happy that I stuck with it.

I'm sad to be losing this bounding time with Shaylin.  I realize that mothers who bottle-feed still bond with their babies.  But this bond was very special for me.

I've been nervous that Shaylin won't handle weaning well, or that I won't for that matter.  I've also been nervous about hormone changes & physical discomfort. 

Now that I'm weaning this also motivates me to be more consistent in eating better (I type that as I'm eating marshmallows out of the bag!) & working out.  Breastfeeding has been my easy calorie burner.  They say you can burn 600 calories a day.  Really helps with losing the baby weight.  So now I won't be burning those calories which means I need to find other ways to burn them.

So far we've dropped one feeding.  There are 4 more to go.  Shaylin is still learning to use a sippy cup.  Her main issue is she doesn't know to hold her head back.  I've tried one of the cups that has a straw & she didn't know what to do with it.  But we will keep on persevering.  My goal is to have her completely weaned by the end of February.  I don't think that's too unreasonable.

A cold for Christmas

It looks like Shaylin is getting her first cold & she's getting it for Christmas. 

Yester we noticed her sneezing more than usual.  By the evening I could hear her getting stuffed up with gunk.  I put the humidifier on in her room last night.  It didn't help as far as sleep goes.  From the time she went to bed (8:45) to midnight I don't think she slept a solid hour.  Most of the time she'd just cry out & go back to sleep.  So by the time I went to bed (12:15) I turned the monitor off.  I figure if she's just going to cry out like that I may as well get as much undisturbed sleep as I can.

But at some point in the middle of the night she woke up & wouldn't settle down.  I know she was just feeling awful.  So I scooped her up & went to the guest room.  I thought it best to go there since there wouldn't be a ceiling fan blowing down on her & Jeremy could still have a chance to rest.  Snuggling with her momma seemed to help settle her down & let her rest.  But the momma doesn't get much sleep.  I know I did sleep a tiny bit because I remember a couple short dreams.  But I certainly don't feel rested.

Since Jeremy was going to be home today I had wanted to do an outside run.  But now with my lack of sleep & the fact that it's really cold & raining outside, I don't see any run going on today.  Besides, I'm a momma before I'm a runner & my baby needs me.