Monday, December 19, 2011

Baby #2 or #8

This has been on my mind for a while now.  Back when I was pregnant with Shaylin I posted a blog here about how I struggled with how to answer people that asked if she was my first.  Usually I would say that she was my first healthy pregnancy but she was my 7th pregnancy.

This time around has actually been confusing to me.  I tend to refer to Jillian as "Baby #2".  But then I feel guilty calling her that because really Baby #2 came & went in October 2007.  One time while discussing pregnancies with my sisters-in-law, I actually referred to my pregnancy with Shaylin as my "first pregnancy" & immediately I felt horrible.  I felt like I was ignoring the 6 babies before her.

At the same time I don't want to refer to Jillian as my 8th baby because it can seem confusing to people that don't know us.  Or it can just seem like a downer to remind people of our losses.  But it's hard because I can't ignore them. 

So what's the solution?  I have no idea.  I will at least continue to live my life knowing that I have 8, not just 2, babies.


  1. Don't feel guilty about referring to Shaylin and Jillian as your first and second babies. The other babies are precious and are still in your heart (okay, that sounds weird, but I think you know what I mean).

  2. Because I parented 11 kiddos during our years in foster care and have been a parent to 3 kiddos for a while before moving here, I struggle to answer the "So, you just have one child?" question. I usually answer yes but in my heart, I recognize the big black whole that misses my other babies (and the other kiddos that should be home with us.) I just chalk up answering in a way that most people will understand. It is with those that know how many children my heart has that I am more open. :)