Monday, December 19, 2011

Baby #2 or #8

This has been on my mind for a while now.  Back when I was pregnant with Shaylin I posted a blog here about how I struggled with how to answer people that asked if she was my first.  Usually I would say that she was my first healthy pregnancy but she was my 7th pregnancy.

This time around has actually been confusing to me.  I tend to refer to Jillian as "Baby #2".  But then I feel guilty calling her that because really Baby #2 came & went in October 2007.  One time while discussing pregnancies with my sisters-in-law, I actually referred to my pregnancy with Shaylin as my "first pregnancy" & immediately I felt horrible.  I felt like I was ignoring the 6 babies before her.

At the same time I don't want to refer to Jillian as my 8th baby because it can seem confusing to people that don't know us.  Or it can just seem like a downer to remind people of our losses.  But it's hard because I can't ignore them. 

So what's the solution?  I have no idea.  I will at least continue to live my life knowing that I have 8, not just 2, babies.

2 comments:

  1. Don't feel guilty about referring to Shaylin and Jillian as your first and second babies. The other babies are precious and are still in your heart (okay, that sounds weird, but I think you know what I mean).

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  2. Because I parented 11 kiddos during our years in foster care and have been a parent to 3 kiddos for a while before moving here, I struggle to answer the "So, you just have one child?" question. I usually answer yes but in my heart, I recognize the big black whole that misses my other babies (and the other kiddos that should be home with us.) I just chalk up answering in a way that most people will understand. It is with those that know how many children my heart has that I am more open. :)

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