I realize this is old news regarding the Duggars miscarriage of what would have been their 20th born child but I just watched the episode of their show 19 Kids & Counting that focused on that loss. And I'm just overcome with so many emotions about this family but particularly on this mother, Michelle Duggar, & I just have to write about it.
The Duggars are a Christian family that have 19 kids. Having that many kids is just unheard of these days & has brought them a lot of criticism. People say their irresponsible, that they're to blame for the earth's over-population (really?!), that they are more focused on having as many babies as possible than on the children God has already given them.
I'll admit that sometimes I've judged them. Well, really, I say we are all guilty of judging people whether we admit to it or not. It's just human nature. But anyway, I'll admit that I've thought they must be crazy to still be having kids. Michelle is 45, had pre-eclampsia in the last pregnancy resulting in baby Josie being born at 24 weeks (she's now a thriving 2 year old), & I believe has been pregnant now 19 times, with 2 of those pregnancies being twins. That's a lot on her body. And her uterus!
But watching this episode has made me look at her differently. This is a woman that deeply loves her children. ALL her children. Each one is precious to her.
When I had miscarriages I felt like it was harder for me because I didn't have a baby yet. I just felt that if I at least had one it wouldn't be as hard. It's not to say that another mother who has children already doesn't grieve. But it's all I've known. I'm so blessed that God hasn't allowed us to go through another miscarriage yet & has given us two healthy girls in a row.
Watching the emotion that Michelle showed on camera showed me that she truly loved this baby. It's weird because it's not like I really thought she didn't love baby Jubilee. But seeing that much emotion was amazing to me. How dare anyone criticize this family!
I also commend the Duggars for being brave to show this to the world. Infertility & miscarriage is still seen as something to keep quiet about. So when I hear of "celebrities" that are dealing with infertility I'm sad for them but also happy that they are open about it.
What also got to me was when Jim Bob & Michelle came home to tell their kids that the baby had died. Should I get pregnant again Shaylin will be even older so she's going to understand a little bit better & I hate the thought of having to tell her that we lost a baby.
Lastly I could see their faith in God. They grieved as anyone should expect but they showed no shame in their trust that God was in control. Right after Michelle was told that there was no heartbeat she said "The Lord giveth & the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord". And then they prayed together. I'm ashamed to say that was never my immediate reaction. They also leave their fertility future to the Lord. I think they make it clear they don't necessarily "try" for another baby. They just live their lives & if it happens, it happens. They don't let their age or money or the number of children they already have get in their way. They know that God will work it all out. And here I'm 32 & worry if I can handle having anymore babies.
So after watching this episode I'm inspired. I'm inspired to be a better mother. She's got 19 kids. My 2 aren't that much of a handful. I'm inspired to be a better Christian & to rely more on God than I currently do. And I'm inspired to be less judgmental of the choices other moms make.